Focus on the Love

Pam Rubio

This spiritual path has helped me understand that the choices we make are not who we are. As a parent, I learned it was important for our family to find humor in situations. We learned to laugh and enjoy this world and to work as a family to consciously make our home a spiritual place to live.

How did I work with my family to create a spiritual home? When my oldest son was a teenager, I received a special gift from my inner spiritual guide—a tool that helped me live with love and courage by using the spiritual principles of ECKANKAR.

One night my son was given permission to go out for the evening, and he promised to return at a given hour. We had past experiences with him coming in very late.

The agreed-upon hour came and went, and my son didn’t come home. I was disappointed and very upset that he broke his word. My anger was really based on fear. What was he doing? Where was he? Who was he with? So, with each passing minute, I got more upset and angry with him.

In the middle of my anger, I heard an inner voice say, “What do you like about him?”

At first I answered, “Not much!”

Next, I heard, “Make a list of the things you like about him, his good qualities.”

That was hard, because I was disappointed that he broke his word, and I was angry and afraid. But I recognized this inner voice as my inner spiritual guide and trusted it.

So, I started my list. The first three lines were hard, but as I continued to write, a sense of peace came over me. I filled up two pages, double-sided, with all his wonderful qualities. And when I got to the last line, I heard the house key turn in the lock.

With a sense of peace, I went to the door and waited for him. When he opened the door, his eyes got wide, expressing shock that he’d been caught. I looked him in the eye, handed him the papers, turned, and went to bed, without saying a word. The peace and love I felt was unbelievable.

The next morning, I was up early, making breakfast, when my son came in. He gave me a big hug, apologized, and told me he loved me.

My oldest son is in his late forties now, and to this day he still has those papers. He told me he has also written a list of all the good he sees in his son, my grandson.

The blessing of that inner guidance—to focus on the good in others, and not on the fear or anger within me—opened my heart to greater peace and joy. When I could see the best in my son and his highest good, he was able to focus on his loving destiny in life. Then he was later able to see his son’s greatest qualities. And so he passed the blessing on to my grandson.